need to vent....

[jep98056]

Ginne:
If my Mother is an example then you will never get over it. My Mother is 96 and although we don't speak of my injury often, the subject comes up sometimes when we reminisce about my growing up years, going the clinic for therapy, and PT sessions on the dining room table. Tears come to her eyes and she grabs my arm and says "Oh, did we do enough?" and I always answer "Yes!!" because it is true. My parents made significant sacrifices so that I could make the maximum possible recovery. I'll be forever grateful.

John P.

[CW1992]

I loved your comment Claudia about the "No Child is Perfect except to their Mommy!" - I agree so much - My kids even though they argue at times and NEVER pick up after themselves..... I love them just how they are and whatever problems they might face I will help them to face - couldn't see myself with 'perfect' ones - I don't think there is such a thing as a 'perfect child - and not sure I'd want one of those anyhow!!:)
My parents a few months ago asked again what Britt's arm problem was named - she is now 13 - I told them she has a "brachial plexus injury Mom!" It does hurt - because people just don't understand except the ones that are there every day that see daily what goes on. Things come up and people just don't get it - but my husband is the only other person besides my daugher in our family who 'gets it'. But like I said - it's not really their fault (the extended family) because they have no idea no matter how much you explain - they do not live it. They see a kid who is apparently doing well - but the underlying stuff - they don't see - like the struggles your child might face daily - but I'm glad that Brittney and I worked on the verbal comebacks -- nobody will get away will making her feel badly about herself - and luckily she knows the skills to take them down if she has to! (sorry I probably sound like a psycho - I'm not - just wanted her to be ready to face the world..... and she is so sweet I do not think that she'd use too many of our verbal abuse comeback plans!:) She's armed and ready though!
Christy

[brandonsmom]

I know exacatly how you feel. My own father never accepted my son's injury....he is 6 1/2 and ROBPI. We didn't speak for years because of some of the rude things that he said....for instance....oh, that is awful....he may never play sports....who cares if he didn't play sports. My dad told me when I hired my attorney that I was crazy and as long as he was mentally okay I should get over it because Dr's bury their mistakes.....it isn't that serious. I understand how you feel. I would've said the same things. AS for Christy, I think she should have said it. My son was asked in KINDERGARTEN mind you, what is wrong with your arm, he said, nothing what is wrong with your arm. Gayle

[brandonsmom]

I know exacatly how you feel. My own father never accepted my son's injury....he is 6 1/2 and ROBPI. We didn't speak for years because of some of the rude things that he said....for instance....oh, that is awful....he may never play sports....who cares if he didn't play sports. My dad told me when I hired my attorney that I was crazy and as long as he was mentally okay I should get over it because Dr's bury their mistakes.....it isn't that serious. I understand how you feel. I would've said the same things. AS for Christy, I think she should have said it. My son was asked in KINDERGARTEN mind you, what is wrong with your arm, he said, nothing what is wrong with your arm. Gayle

[CW1992]

Gayle - thanks - I think that maybe she should have said it too! Sometimes I get so worried that she will 'overly slam' but this kid deserved to be slammed... LOL If I was there I would have slammed her!:) I guess we all live each day as best we know how - maybe on Thursday at practice Brittney will take her down - I might need to watch that whole practice (He He) and see.... Who knows - depends on her feelings at the time I guess...
I'm sorry about your family and your Dad - I remember my Dad - right after Britt was born - saying "Chris, her arm is just like a noodle" - and that has always bothered me because I was scared and needed support.
Your son sounds like a very strong little man - he will show them all how strong he is!
Christy

[Kath]

I have to agree with John... although my Mom died when I was only 28 she was always talking to me about exercising, standing up straight and using my arm, never sitting with my thumb in. It was always on her mind especially while she was so sick. She told my husband when we got married it was his job to exercise my arm... needless to say I warned him never to nag me to use my arm.

People don't get it! They do not live it nor do they see all of the daily frustrations faced by a child way beyond their level of maturity to cope.
I was taught to ignore the rude comments. That was hard when I was young but now... it is still hard but I don't waste my energy on thoughtless comments.
I think people are trying to reassure us that we are ok and really they don't know what to say. I still get frustrated when someone starts to tell me how lucky I am that it is only and arm. By the way my family does not get it, only my husband does. My children are just starting to realize I have problems and limitations. They just never paid attention because I never complained and obpi never stopped me. Now they ask more and are more interested. But to them I am perfect ( can you tell they are all out of the house) they often tell me they had no idea until UBPN... they still don't think its a big deal.
Kath