bpi babies & tempers!

[Paula]

OK I have 3 other kids and neither are as bad as Aaron. I don't know if he is stressed because his hand won't do some things he would like it to do or what. The other day he got soooo angry he was trying to reach for a toy on his left (bpi) side and he could not extend his arm fully to reach it so he yelled in a fit of anger and down went his mouth to bite on his arm to maybe "punish" it. And every time it is nap time he gets angry and squirms and fights his sleep then he wakes a few times to yell very angry-like, and goes back to sleep after I put his pacifier back in his mouth. (My mother warned me that someday I'd pay) So my question is, Do all BPI babies have bad tempers? I think I may be coming out of retirement REALLY SOON.
---Paula

[admin]

i was told that any baby who has suffered a traumatic birth is likely to have a worse temper. We tried cranial massage on our daughter, it worked WONDERS. i think sometimes there is too much pressure on their heads when they are born, or injuries you can't see from forceps/ventouse. Give it a try and stay calm, it WILL pass!

[admin]

Paula,
I have a son who is robpi and he has a far greater temper than my other two children. I think it is because he gets frustrated about not being able to complete tasks. Complex and simple ones. But he also has a more determined personality which I hope will help him in the future.
LOL,
Rhonda

[TraceyMac]

Hi Paula, My name is Tracey McIntosh. I have a 2 year old daughter named Kadeisha with right(bpi). I have noticed that she has a really bad temper also. I don't kmow if it's because there is an eleven year difference between my two kids and that I don't remember tempers or because of her BPI. I did notice though, when she tries to put her shoes or clothes on and her right will not cooperate the way she want it to, she will have a holy fit. So maybe is does have to do with BPI. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Thanks.

[admin]

I will agree my daughter just turned 3 and since the day she was born she has had the worst temper and whines like i've never seen before and I'm the oldest of 8 children so I've been around lots of kids, but she is definatly the worst. My mother just says I'm being paid back for what I did to her, but I think it goes a little deeper than that, maybe there is a connection with the bpi. All I know is I pray that I have the patience to deal with it.
Glad to know I'm not alone! Jessica

[christy]

Oh yes, temper here too! Above and beyond the requirement for a terrible two tantrum.

Personally I think it is because she is so frustrated at having this done to her and being made to do this..she just has a low tolerance for restrictions of any kind. So for now..she is our little "drama queen"

hang in there...we are but by a thread

[browning93]

Michaela, too. I think I've figured part of it out. She can't control the fact that she has to go to therapy, do ROMs,etc. even when she doesn't want to. Other kids don't have too. Then there's the frustration of not being able to do things like the other kids.Trying to compensate for something out of her control. Because of this I believe they try to control everyone and everything else in their lives. Nine times out of ten the tantrum or argument can be traced back to control.
If I can't control this in my life, then I'll control everyhthing else. Can you tell I've been to counseling?LOL Since I had a few control issues in my own life I recognized it Michaela right away. LeeAnne

[admin]

Hi Paula
Okay my little guy is only 13 mths. old maybe too young to be responding to your post, BUT he already exhibits a very strong temper. He has and still always cries and screams when he awakens and also in the middle of sleeping. He seemed to start the terrible two's at about 11 mths. old and I am very serious about that. I feel bad for his therapist because a few months back he started shaking his head NO and would resist doing things they would want him to do, and if he didn't want to do something with his injured arm he would throw a fit and yank it away. We are still a year away from the terrible two's - I can't even imagine. Another thing that may be of interest - I talked with Lisa D. at TCH and she did say they definitely see a lot of BPI kids with learning disabilities and behavioral problems. I am certain the injury and all its consequences effect our kids in many ways. I also think a temper can be a good thing, and that their stubborness and persistance will help them with their challenges!

[admin]

My second daughter has a ROBPI. She is 14 months old now and is extremely impatient. When she wants something she wants it right then and there! When her 3 1/2 year old sister takes things from her she gets really mad and one time tried to bite her. She tries to bite me when I am wiping her left hand after she has eaten. I think it is also a control issue like someone else posted because there is so much in her life that she can't control. For the most part she is a happy kid, but that is when things are going her way! I hope when she gets older and regain some use of her arm that her temper will settle down. Plus we can't wait for her to talk because the screaming and whining definitely takes its toll on us.

[Kathleen]

As I was reading these posts I remember something from a while back when parents complained about temper.... I think I should share my feeling because it is how I see things as and adult/obpi - mother and grandmother....

One of the behavioral problems with bpi children is our frustration level...

Did you ever have a day when everything you tried went wrong??
When you dropped things because you were rushed?
When you forgot things?
When just everything you tried to do went wrong?
Welcome to the world of the bpi child....

We are challenged to do the ordinary.
We want to reach out but we forget we have another arm/hand unless reminded.
We want to jump rope but can only turn with one hand and to do it with both hands takes lots of practice, but not for the other kids....
Trying to play patty cake, clapping at a play, carrying a cup in one hand and a plate in the other...do you see what I mean
Someone is always pushing us on... use the arm... use your other hand... touching you and exercising you when you don't want to anymore... or you just want to play like the other kids and you have to exercise your arm again!!!!!
(Don't get me wrong...this has to be done and I am so thankful my Mom... nagged me to death...to move)

We are forever compensating for the loss of our arms and our ability to use our hands in the same fashion we use our unaffected ones. and the ordinary use that is expected of that arm...

That is why we appear to have a shorter fuse when we are young. That is why we react like children and become angry and frustrated... everything is a challenge...

I hate competition because I have been challenged to learn anything I wanted to do. So I don't compete with others I do however compete with myself. I have to try everything from painting to pottery to gardening to pruning shrubs...just to see if I can.

I really feel that we are NOT behavior problems.

we have frustration beyond our maturity to cope with...

There is a good side of this, we become strong, creative, stubborn, persistent and we do learn to compensate.

If your bpi child does not become stubborn they will never learn to move or to stick to a task until they can do it... We must be stubborn to survive...and you can't have it both way... mild easy going one minute and stubbron when we have to work to move....
Just my view from this side of the injury... we do mellow out... but it take time... I know because they thought I got frustrated and lost my temper when I was young too... and my Mom was a mild person... they just did not understand the high frustration level....

Tie your arm to you belt for a day- not all the way just enough to restrict your motion like your child's... and let everyone tell you to move it and try... see if you can carry two things at once.... this might give you some insight into the reasons for frustration....

Frustration is the constant life time companion of the obpi child/adult.... I still face moments when I just want to jump up and down or throw something. Not often anymore,just once in a while when it dawns on me I can't do something I really want to do.

They are little and do not have the words to express their frustration. Look at it as their VENT they need to let these feeling out... maybe a pillow to pound on for those times might help...

Kath