Birth after injured baby - c-section or vaginal?

[TNT1999]

It's funny b/c Marlyn made me laugh too when I read her post. I have similar feelings as her. I was talking to a Mom once and she really felt bad about having had a c-s and felt like less of a woman or like she wasn't able to accomplish something that she felt she should've been able to do. I told her how lucky she was that her dr. recognized a problem and did a c-s (it wasn't due to anticipated BPI, but to other problems). I think that a lot of women have a lot of depression when the plan a vaginal birth, but end up having a c-s. While I believe in God and look at childbirth as an amazing experience, I really never thought of it as any less amazing with a c-s.

Amy and Sara, I understand your thoughts about feeling like you'd be more of an observer and less of a participant and who knows, if you were to have a c-s you might still end up feeling that way (although I hope not). For what it's worth, I did not feel like less of a participant. I think I actually felt more involved b/c I really put myself through a lot physically and emotionally to have the c-s. I had never had a surgery before and was never even hospitalized so I was pretty nervous about the whole experience. I did not feel like an observer. I can't tell either of you how you'll feel in the end and I know that you won't know until it's done. I'm just trying to point out that while you feel like that now, you might very well feel differently when it's over (at least I would hope you would feel differently b/c I would hope that having a c-s wouldn't result in PPD for either of you). Of course, if you really have strong feelings and are concerned with having PPD, it's definitely something to consider.

BTW, as far as recovery, the c-s was much harder for me to recover from, but I've heard more stories the other way. I think that being overweight made the c-s a very difficult recovery and had I been smaller it would've been easier. Also, while I had a difficult delivery with Nicole, it wasn't the "horror story" that some people write about here, so when people talk about which recovery is easier, there are a lot of factors.

FYI, my husband peeked over the curtain during my c-s and I can tell you that he certainly didn't lose any respect for me or appreciation for what I went through to deliver Joshua. He really had no idea how much was involved with a c-s delivery.

You also might get to have the baby on you after delivery, you'd just have to have your husband help hold the baby.

Well, I hope things go well for you both and I'll be anxious to hear about your experiences. I know as many do here that this is a difficult decision.

~Tina, bpmom@comcast.net

[Angela Butterfly]

Tina is right that some mothers have a difficult time after vaginal delivery.

I delivered all 3 of mine vaginally. It was my 3rd that was severe LOBPI. However, "I" was severely injured when I had my 2nd baby. I hurt like HELL for 8 weeks following her birth. I also had a NASTY husband that made it worse, by demanding I work at home, more than I could really do. Oh, my oldest turned 2 the same week I delivered that 2nd one. I did not have a mother or sister to help.

I had friends that had had c-sections (we were all "older mom's" friends, having our babies in our early 30's) at the same time I was having mine. They said, from the sounds of it, having a c-section was better than what I had to heal up from.

Now that I am "AGED" tee hee (over 50) it appears my vaginal injury, has come back to haunt me. C-section certainly would have been better.

[admin]

TNT - thanks again for giving us another point of view to ponder and respect. I definitely do not feel "less of a woman" for having a c-section though I have heard others say this about themselves. I really think my hard time with it is in relation to not feeling like an active participant in the birth. I was lucky and had an easy recovery (I was sitting indian style 3 days after she was born, I had no discomfort even though I'd had a 9 lb 6 oz baby and episiotomy!). Honestly, I know that there really is no choice for me, I simply cannot take the risk of having another baby injured... so I will go for the c-section. I guess I needed some reassurance and sisters to give me some advice. I really do appreciate it all!!

Angel - sorry to hear your husband was a jerk... that's horrible that he wanted you to do so much when you were just out of the hospital and all. Sometimes they just don't get it!

[solson]

Amy,
If you're anything like me you'll probably still waver back and forth a bit during this pregnancy over whether you made the right decision or not. I just wanted to say be encouraged during this time that you are choosing the right decision for this pregnancy, you and your little one. Try not to become overwhelmed with the negative thoughts you may have. Overall, pregnancy and childbirth in general are amazing things. It just stinks that in our situations these decisions have to be made.

Sara

[admin]

after my daughter was injured at birth, i decided not to have any more children. my sister got pregnant with her first about a year after my daughter was born and injured.

my sister was a high risk patient due to age and having difficuly conceiving. it took her almost 10 years to conceive. the doctors watched her extremely close. at 38 weeks, they gave her the decision of having a c-section or going vaginally. they did warn her of the risks, which she was already aware of because of my experience, and decided to have a c-section. she does not regret it one bit.

if i were to get pregnant again, i would opt for a c-section. i begged my ob to give me one when i was in labor with my daughter and she refused. now my daughter has an injury that breaks my heart everyday. personally i would not take the chance. why take the chance of going thru something that may injure another child and go thru all the pain and suffering that you have gone thru with your first being injured.

good luck in whatever decision you make. i will pray you make the right one and have a healthy and happy baby.

[Angela Butterfly]

Amy bcb, thanks for being so kind. But as time went on I realized I should have called my husband by another name....ABUSER. He was very skilled at it and was less obvious than some. (I thought marriage was forever too, which didn't help.) Some of the OUTSIDE public, in my community of several small towns, find it hard to believe it of him. Except the ones that KNOW the 3 "A" brothers, at last count have 5 ex-wives. The middle one is a minister living in TEXAS, has 2 ex-wives, and medical documentation that he also abused his disabled son.

ALSO....WE didn't LOOK the part. Many have a stereotype of what abuse SHOULD look like. When the Sherrif's deputy made a police report for his violation of the Order of Protection, the deputy looked around my home, and told me it is unusual that a woman in YOUR position would get an O.P., and KEEP it, as you are. Most wouldn't begin to risk loosing what you have. Of course he was speaking of posessions. At that point I was most concderned at what I was teaching my daughters by staying. They were already in 6th, 7th & 9th grade. I stayed too long.

[Amanda's mommy]

i'm 32 and had amanda 22 months ago. her vaginal delivery has started to haunt me already. my bladder had dropped and if i sneeze or cough a little too hard, i have accidents. i basically wear a menstrual pad everyday, just in case.

good luck to all that are pregnant. i pray you will all make the right decisions for yourselves and give birth to healthy, uninjured babies.

[sarahmae]

I posted about this a few weeks before you did. I am happy to say that I am the proud mommy of my 3rd baby which i delivered vaginally 3 days ago. My second was ROBPI. It was also very hard for me, but my OB was very confident. I think it totally depends on your situation. My first baby was a breeze. no SD. I had the most horrible delivery this time. She was sunny side up. weighed in at 7lbs 12 oz at 37.5 weeks. My second was a boy 9lbs 7oz 38.5 weeks. I found it much more painful to deliver this time. It is a tough choice, and it was scary in delivery. My OB said he thought there was a less than 20% chance of another SD. I went for it, but is not an easy decision. Good luck and congrats.
Sarah mae

[PeggyF]

Congratulations on your new baby girl! I'm sorry you had difficulty, but hoping that all is well with you and your family!

Take care,

Peggy

[k1999]

Exactly what was so great about the vaginal experience that you would like to relive it?

I had a scheduled c-section with my 2nd. Went with a High Risk Fetal Maternal medicine group who looked through the medical records from my first delivery and agreed to give me a scheduled c-section. The surgery went very well...positive experience. I had a tough recovery after my first vaginal delivery(could not walk without pain) so my c-section recovery was not a new experience as my vaginal recovery was painful etc.

Good luck!