For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

[JessicasMom]

I did not have it done for my son (who is 4 and non-bpi). I don't have any regrets. When I researched it, I found that the AAP said they would not advise for or against it and that there have been no studies indicating that there is a medical benefit. I couldn't see doing this to my son "just because" without necessity or anesthesia (I was told babies don't get any). My pediatrician said it's just a matter of personal choice, and said since my husband is not circumcised, it's probably better to be "like dad". I'm not too concerned about the locker rooms either, our pediatrician said more than 40% of parents are NOT doing it, so there will be all varieties in the locker room.

Just my thoughts.

Michelle

[admin]

Recent stats are surprisingly high, but not really when one realizes it is a completely unnecessary surgery. I don't agree with the locker room way of thinking especially with the very high percent of non-circumcised children. I know several who are not and it is not a sanity issue from what I hear, just like washing other parts of yourself. It is not as dirty as we have been taught to believe. I researched it a lot during my pregnancy and found it very, very hard to justify it. Matching dad, etc., didn't cut it for me either. We decided to do it at the very last minute because of the paralyzed arm I was so worried that my son would never be able to use both hands to clean himself. I would not have done it, after what I had learned. It was really interesting because two pediatricians in my son's ped office didn't have the procedure done on their children and they say there is nothing to justify it. I think it is a cultural thing and we have not been given the facts, just taught to believe or feel it is the "right" thing to do, like the body is naturally gross or something. I think God made little boys just the way they are for a reason.

Learn all you can and do what your heart tells you. It can be a very, very hard decision, especially once you start to research and think outside the box. I agree with the earlier poster who mentioned it is their child's body. I found it so very hard to make a decision to alter someone elses perfect little body for no medically sound reason. Good luck.

[admin]

Don't even give it a second thought...Yes, absolutely have it done if you have a boy. We have 4 boys. 4 happy, clean, no infection, boys...she says with a warm smile...The doctor does it while they're still in the hospital before you take him home. An option of choice is called "the bell". All of my boys had the bell...it's like a little tiny plastic helmet, and it falls of about a week later. Then walla! None of my babies experienced any pain afterwards.
I hope you have peace with your choice. Frankly there is no such thing as "right" or "wrong" here, it's entirely up to you. Please don't let fear get in your way.

[jennyinsandiego]

one more reason to leave it alone...

if you read stuff written by adult males who have had it done, they mention huge losses in sensitivity. I'd hate to think of them missing out... lol

We didn't do it to either of our boys and cleaning has not been an issue. They are 6 and 8. Dad just showed them what to do, just like we taught them to brush their teeth.

[claudia]

Okay, we are Jewish, so this is not something that is negotiable for us. It is also not something that we think about changing. We have added women as Rabbis, but we will not change the bris. Just as we will not change what is considered Kosher or not.

However, my son was bris by a Mohel (a special Rabbi who does circumcisions). Not all of them are good at this. We had one who came highly recommended and he was and idiot. He did not do a good job on Andrew. The cut was not even and it looked rather weird. He also left a lot of the foreskin.
We went to a urologist when he was about 2 months old. He said we could technically leave it, that he looked like the European Jews look, though he didn't like the unevenness. He said the choice was ours. Well we decided to do it. Our son was 8 months old when we did it. And it was fine. However, in the office at the same time was a 12 year old boy who needed one because of constant infections.

As for losing sensation...I think that would be much more likely if you had a circumcision as an adult.

And trauma...well, I really wouldn't put a circumcision in the same category as Nicole's surgery.

I also don't agree that male circumcision should be viewed the same as female. Our "parts" are NOT the same and cannot be considered the same. Female circumcision was done to mutilate women and to keep them from enjoying sex. It was to make sure that the ONLY reason they had sex was to have children. Whether or not there is a small change in sensation for men, it does not remove their ability to enjoy the act.

Well, Tina, you know that this is another decision only you can make. Good luck with the delivery and what ever you decide.
I don't know how you are doing on names but I never got to use Jordana or Avery!!!

claudia

[Karen Hillyer]

I am very interested in this thread, because of the huge culteral divide between our countries, but I would really like to address one point if I may.
The topic of hygiene is one which has been given as a necessary reason for boys to be circumcised.
I have two sons, three Godsons, husband, brother, brother in law, and a variety of male friends none of whom have been circumcised and NONE of them have ever had infections through having an intact foreskin.
Why anyone would think that having a foreskin means a boy can't clean himself properly is beyond me !
As for the "locker room " point, over here in the UK
most showers have individual cubicles so thats not an issue over here either.
I don't want to offend anyone, but I felt that I needed to redress the balance on behalf of men with foreskins, and stick up for their personal hygiene habits!

[Primrose]

Karen, Thank you for sticking up for intact men. People act as if they are a bunch of nasty simpletons who don't have the common sense to properly wash. Neither DH nor DS have ever had an infection. Of course DS is only 4 yrs old and has just recently started retracting. Even so even with the BPI he is able to retract his foreskin to cleanse it. 80% of the world's men are intact. If foreskins were such hotbeds of nastiness and infections then either most of the world's population would be constanly laid up from infections, or they would have adopted the practice of non religious circumcision also. The fact of the matter is america as a country is ignorant in regards to foreskin due to our lack of exposure to it. Parents are being misinformed and forceably retracting and using soap and other irritants which is what is causing the infections that Urologists seem to think require circumcision to fix.

[clare]

i have recently had a baby girl, ROBPI, and already have a four and a half year old son (Non-BPI), although we do live in the UK, there would be absolutely no way i would consider circumsising my son unless it was detrimental to his health, I would consider myself causing him unnesessary pain and suffering, why bother? If it aint broke dont fix it!!
Clare

[admin]

We did not circumcise our son. The locker room is not an issue anymore because more and more parents are choosing to not circumcise their boys…I believe the ratio is 50/50 these days so the uncircumcised boys will not stand out. It is pretty much only done in the states anymore and other countries do not do it routinely unless you are of the religion that does it. I feel like the skin is there for a reason and somewhat protects the penis. DH is circumcised and doesn’t worry about looking different than his son since there are not to many occasions that they are naked together. If the day comes that he asks we will just explain to him that mommy and daddy did not want to surgically have him cut.

Here is a great article to read more about it…
http://www.cirp.org/news/Mothering1997/

I suggest that you do a lot of reading about the issue to make an educated decision that best suits your family.

[Clint]

There was an interesting article in The Lancet that indicates that uncircumcised men have a significantly higher chance of contracting AIDS. The Lancet is the premier UK medical journal. Here's a link to the story on CBS News:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/03/ ... 9019.shtml

Of course, this assumes unprotected sex, which is a big no no anyway. I just thought it was interesting and relavant to this discussion.

I also wanted to comment on this (or any other surgical procedure) being the decision of the child. I completely disagree with idea. As parents, it is our responsibility to make decisions for our children. A child, even an older one, cannot fully understand the consequences of their actions. As our daughter gets older, we will begin to consider her input on any future surgery, but until she is 18 it will never be solely up to her. I'm not saying all males should be circumcised. I just don't think it should be the child's decision.