Torn??

[Wendy Lee]

Sounds like you had already made up your mind about not pursuing legal action. Perhaps your first post didn't make this clear, because it didn't sound that way to me.

"I'm very conflicted and haunted by this right now..I would appreciate support not someone to tell me how I should feel act and what I should do...thanks,
Dawn"

I don't beleive I was telling you how to feel, just to give a different perspective of what you're feeling. I was injured in a car accident and have suffered through pain this last 7 months from it. I have medical bills that I've had to deal with throughout all this, and look forward to more unfortunately because of someone running into me with their car. It has been suggested by a prominant doctor in town that I may have suffered spinal cord damage, and from what I read about this sort of injury, it could last a lifetime. Granted money isn't going to fix me, but it will make it easier over time to acquire the things that my declining capabilities will need.

I guess who you need to listen to is the grown children of parents who didn't go the legal route to seek damages for them. Yes, this sort of injury impacts the family of the injured, but when you get right down to it, it's all about the child, not you and your feelings. Just like my injuries are all about me, and not my husbands feelings.

[cassidysmom]

Well firstly I guess I need to clarify that I never meant for this issue to be a debate...I post my concerns here (and I always have since I found UBPN) and I am always given supportive,sound advice...thank you!

Kate...thank you for the link! and thankyou for you advice.
Ella's daddy...your right..prayer is where I should be looking..and I am..thank you for your words of wisdom!
Claudia...as far as what I mean about being angry..for me to go through a law suit and WANT someone to PAY..I have to be angry..thats just me...I have been comsumed with anger for almost 17 months and I don't want to do it anymore..it is not healthy for my children or me for that matter.What make this situation hard is that I want him to acknowledge his mistake and change the way he practices (isn't that what we all want)obviously doing nothing won't accomplish that but what will? a law suit?
thats why I'm torn..I just really don't know what the right thing to do is...and as far as money goes..your right in Cananda, Cassidy's treatment is all covered..so that is huge stress off..and if it wasn't covered,I certainly would be filing a law suit.
Wendy Lee...my mind is not made up..thats why this post is called "torn"..I really don't know what to do..thats why I came here to express my feelings and to see if anyone has ever felt the same way...I'm sorry but I took your response as somewhat judgemental and hostile and if you didn't mean it that way I apologize.

[claudia]

Dawn:
Well, I agree that a law suit probably won't get your practitioner to change how he births babies. How do we change the culture of birthing??? Well, isn't that the million dollar question.... I wish I knew. I wish that seeing our injured children would do it, but it doesn't. I wish the law suits would do it, but they don't. If we scream and yell, we are hysterical mothers. If we talk quietly, then we're not passionate enough.

Yes, I am frustrated with the OBs. They keep pounding their heads on the wall and wondering why they have headaches.

We have a prevention committee here at ubpn and they are working on ways to change how babies are born.

And as for your law suit...how about making a list of the positives and negatives. My husband and I do that a lot when we see both sides too much. It helps us to really weigh pros and cons.

claudia

[crystal]

Dear torn, It took me a year to decide if i was going to sue . the injury that my daughter has does cost us alot. I have forgiven the doctor for what he did. to me a laysuit is for getting back what is owed to you. just as if we were in a accident that was caused by someones else we would want our damages paid. After all money is only money. I forgave the 19 year old kid who smacked into our car with my children inside ( we did not have to sue insurance paid for it) I think that the injury is the same way. I require the right to get paid back for what my daughter has needed and will need in the future. but for me i have forgiven her doctor. In my case he made a big mistake and will have to pay for it, Like i would if i made a mistake. But that doesn't make him an evil person. I will pray for the right path for you. good luck

[Wendy Lee]

Well it's a debate that can be laid out logically, and then you sort it through your emotional state and bounce it off others to gather more information, different angles, and then talking it over with your spouse. What does yours say about taking legal action?

[Wendy Lee]

One of the bigger differences between Americans suing and Canadians suing is that you have National Health Service. So your OT and PT and surgeries are covered. Ours aren't. Many families sue just so they can cover medical expenses.

good luck in your decision,
claudia

I had to chuckle when I read this. Do you think that just because its paid for mostly in Canada that the care they receive is going to be better or easier to get? What about any surgeries that are only done in the States? Where will the money come from? People come to the States for improtant surgeries.

Really, I am originally from Canada and even though I am having my fill of idiot doctors with my car accident, so I thought the comment about literally free medical care as being funny.

[ptrefam]

I was going to suggest the complaint with the medical assosiation, but I see someone has done that. The good thing with this is that it stays on the record and then when they have enough the board is "forced" do take action. They may not take the action you wish right away. But, even if yours is the first someone else looking into using this dr can find that there has been a complaint. I know I had to file a complaint against an ER dr once and they told me it stays on the record and when they have 3 it is likely that they may not be practicing any longer.
Sue

[brandonsmom]

WE did sue and settled out of court, however, the reasons i did it was this. My son was born in a military facility. They knew I Was high risk...hello, I had a 10 pound baby premature-yes, she was definately premie. They didn't want to do anything for my son, but schedule him for amputation....AMPUTATION -----no way !!!!

They fought me 100% of the way and I had to go to their doctors at the same hospital he was born at. They finally let me go where I had to go to get his medical needs met, but then cancelled his insurance when he was two. It was hard to sue, it was, I am not a sue happy person, but this was my child....a child....who we didn't know what the future lied. He was laying on the table with no life, not breathing, they all left and let his lifeless body lay there, and then I Started to scream and he began to cry.....I yelled at them to take care of my son...off to NICU they ran!!! We did not become rich by any sense of the term, but I know that if he needs medical attention for his arm it is paid for and if not, then he has a great little college so he can go to college when he gets older....the choice to sue is very personal and something you have to work out on your own...
GAYLE mom of BRANDON

[cassidysmom]

Wendy Lee...this is not a debate. This is my life and a decision I am faced with,you are not responding to anything but the things you can fight about. As I have already said and will say again..I posted for Support. This is not a debate board it is a support board for parents that are hurting and confused...a place where we can to talk to other people who understand our feelings. I am not going to sit here and waste energy debating something with you that isn't up for debate...I'm sorry you don't agree with the way I'm feeling ..so maybe you should just stop responding to my posts?
and also as far as the coverage in Canada..I have been more than pleased so far with the coverage we have received..we have not had to fight about getting Cassidy surgery or therapy..she has the best surgeon Canada has to offer,two physical therapists and an Occupational therapist aswell....I actually feel pretty blessed to have all of those people behind us!
Dawn, mommy to Cassidy 17 months ROBPI

[cassidysmom]

Thank you to you all who have shared personal experiences with me and offered uplifting advice...I appreciate it very much!
Dawn mommy to Cassidy 17 months ROBPI