United Brachial Plexus Network

My son had an incidence in elementary school two days ago. Three others boys were involved - one told the other two to "get" my son. One boy held my son's uninjured arm, while the other had him around the throat and scratched his neck. He didn't say anything to the teacher, but she noticed the "marks" on his neck. It was badly scratched, not just little marks.
The teacher dealt with it, and so did the principal.

Obviously my son must have been scared, and now I am thinking: Did the boys know he had a injured arm, and is that why they grabbed his "strong" arm. He couldn't defend himself against these bullies, he was so defenseless. Is this a glimpse of the future. what happens in high school when some other bullies figure this out. I am very concerned for him.

I am so sorry that this happened to your son. I'm glad that the teacher noticed and dealt with it quickly, but I am just sick that this happened to him.

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice (I may be asking for some when my son gets into school).

I'm so angry for your son....

Sally with 3 boys

I am also sorry that this happened to your son. One of the first concerns I had for my daughter after I found out how severe her injury was related to get picked on at school. I don't know if it will be different for a girl or not. I do remember reading a post from a boy's father about a similar incident when he was in high school (?) and the bullies held his unaffected arm and threatened to rip off his other arm and beat him with it. Kids can be so cruel so I don't know how we should prepare our kids for this. I was picked on at school just because of my looks so I can imagine how if feels to be picked on for something physical. However, I could change my looks but our kids can't do anything about their arms. I can see why people want to home school their kids!

Oh, I'm so sorry about what happened to your son. As a mom I know what heartache you must feel right now. You want to protect your kids from everything and when you're not there, and something goes wrong you feel absolutely awful. I don't have any advise for you. I just want you to know that I'm feeling for you and your son. I deeply hope that nothing like this ever happens to him again. God bless you both.

Missy

Your letter scared me so much. I could just cry (kids are around though, so I can't right now). What grade is your son in? I'm so worried for my son. He's a pre-schooler (4) now, and so far the kids have been really sweet to him. What is wrong with some of these young kids? Do their parents teach them this kind of "anger" towards people who look different? I just don't know if I could bear it if something like this happened to my son. I think I would seek out the kids and have a severe talk with them or their parents. Truly...maybe it would help. My thoughts are with you!!!!!!!!! How is your son handling it?

I'm sorry this happened and I hope some sense is made out of it and somebody learns a lesson. It's a scary thing. How is your son doing now?
-francine

Oh my gosh I know this feeling! My son was tormented a lot in school. he had many bad things happen to him starting in about the 3rd grade. Kids are sooo mean! Last year(7th grade) my son finally fought back. A kid came up to him in the bathroom while he was washing his hands and the punk said, "that's my sink...you get away from it". Jameson turned around and told him he didn't see his name on it and the kid grabbed Jameson by the shirt and jerked him around ripping his shirt. Jameson punched that kid right in the nose. The kid ran crying with blood running from his nose! Part of me is glad he finally stuck up for himself but part of me was also really sad that he had to resort to violence to get it into this kid's head that he wasn't going to back down again. Jameson was the kid who had a bully threatened to, "rip that thing off and beat him to death with it". It's not true that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" The words that have been said to Jameson over the years have hurt him very badly. It's sad because he is a sensitive and kind peacemaking person by instinct and it is against his mold to have to fight at all. I guess there are times when everyone has to stand up for themselves but it is just a shame that a sweet kid gets bothered for something he can't change. For the record I have heard high school is better than elemtary school. Jameson is homeschooled now but at 6 feet tall and 150 lbs. at age 13 I don't think many people will mess with him anymore.
T.

Im sorry that your son had to experience this! It is not nice at all! Especially when the bullies are so weak that they make the victim weaker by leaving theyre injured arm free to defend them(which it cant). This has also happened to me(im 16 Robpi) when i was at primary school. This boy that jst was a complete horror used to take my money and i was so quiet i done nothing about it. I eventually told my mum and she told me to be strong and not let him do it bcos i was as good as him and he couldnt hurt me. She also told me the worst i would get from speaking back to him was gettin hit but i would be fine! Yes it sounds like REALLY stupid advice to give to a child but i went to school that was basically in the Bronx! Thank god iv moved! I was such a quiet pupil in such a roudy school. However, this horrible boy was shoutin at me and i simply shouted back smartly but as my mum said he walked up me to me pushed me against a wall and held my left arm tightly leaving my right arm to defend me. I was so angry that i tried my hardest to lift my arm and move it back slightly and swing it at him. I was successful and hit him on the face. He never came near me again!

Iv never been bullied at highschool physically name calling is all! I can live with that bcos iv learned this amazin trick of blankin all those ppl out and i cant lipread so i dont know wot they are sayin!

My advice to you all is to warn your children and tell them to be strong and make sure they tell someone because it could seriously damage their arm if it was hurt. This should make them either tell you or a teacher! Also tell them that bullies are weak ppl who only resort to ppl who they think are an easy target, dont let your children be. If you can tell your children to stick up for themselves and speak back to these bullies they shouldnt b bothered by bullies.

Hope this works for some of you!Dont worry about your children. They will all be fantastic because they have such Fab parents. Erbs Palsy seems to make a person stronger. Youll b surprised.

Michelle x

I'm Mike and I'm 11

I take this very serious. I'm kinda small for my age and my left arm is injured.

I'm sorry he had to go through that.

I started taking Karate last year. It has helped me feel like I can handle those big guys now.. But you know what I haven't had too... I think just knowing I could defend myself now..makes me able to sort of scare them off before it happens. It helps my balance and I have learned how to take care of myself with my feet, and my other arm.
I would never want to fight but I think I just feel better about telling kids to back off now.

I hope he's not scared ever again

I am sorry for your son. I know how you must feel.
It is a good thing that the teacher dealt with it.
BUT..... I would definetly call the parents. Sometimes
the parents don't know how their child is acting in
school. Some do though. I would also ask that the
teacher deal with bullying issues in class. They have our children about 7 hours a day, and they can implement social lessons into this. It is very important. I would also sit in on a class and help the teacher with crafts etc.. just to see with my
own eyes how the school is dealing with these issues.
Some of the time they just deal with the three boys
that cause the problem without seeing the whole picture. That by implementing a good social lesson in the whole class will help all around.
Being that this is elementary school the children aren't as bothered by the mom dropping by.
But when it comes right down to it. We have an
obligation of love to protect our children when somethig like this happens. We can thank the principal and teacher for discipling the three boys, but
they have to go farther then that. They have to implement good morals and values in class, out in the hall, and outside. If you have children over at your house all day would you let this behavior go unnoticed?
No you would implement a talking to all the children.
School is not only a place to learn, but a place that should teach good behavior. I think sometimes this is not done.
Your little boy is brave. Don't let bully boys influence his life. Step in. What is so wrong with that? Give the talk yourself in school. We have to
start being proactive in our soceity. To say no to the bullying people. For if we do not do anything now, our children could be worse off in the future.
I have met some great teachers who have implemented a
separate class just for social situations.
Just remember you are the mom, you are doing a thing protecting your child.
God bless you and your family.