what to do???

[Joy in FL]

Staycee,

I am left TBPI my accident was Halloween of 1991. You know what I just realized I had an anniversary and did not even think about it. Guess that is progress. Anyway... there were times I hated going to therapy. Truth be told I have not been to a therapist in over 6 years. I take care of things on my own.

Unfortunately for you, you are making the decision for your child. As with any decision we have to make for our children my advice is do your homework. Find out from your doctor if a break would be a problem. Ask the therapist if you could go once a week or every other week. Monitor his progress and see how things go. Find out if the therapist could change the routine. If therapy is a must and there are not other issues with your son, you may have to be the bad guy and force him to go. But, don't worry he will only hate you for a short time. Keep telling yourself that it is for his own good. Also trust me that there will be many more times you will be the bad guy! LOL That is okay you will know that you are doing the right thing for him.

Good Luck and please keep us posted on his progress.

Joy

[Joy in FL]

Nancy,

This has nothing to do with therapy BUT I am the youngest of four children. My Mother always made a point of doing something with each one of us kids alone. It gave us each a chance to really feel special. Having Mother to ourselves was a treat. Our outings were to McDonalds. To this day when I need "comfort" I head to McDonalds. I have very special memories with our little outings.

Your story of your favorite Red Barn Chicken made me think of that. Thanks.

Joy

[Joy in FL]

I normally do not respond when things get testy. However, I feel I need to this time.

Ashlie's first post was not rude or flip. She asked a valid question. A question that Staycee may have to ask herself at some point in this decision. After Ashlie's post we have a "Guest" poster. While I understand the need some parents have for privacy I must admit I seriously dislike Guest posters. Especially when the post is negative toward another. It leaves you no one to respond to. But let me try...to the Guest poster... Yes, we are right because we are the parent! It is the privilege of age, wisdom and experience. Lets face it Staycee came to us for advice. Not her childs preschool class. We have been four but the four year old has never been our age or a parent. Therefore, we win! Is the child a person? Yes. Is a young child a person with the skill to make this possible life altering decision? No. That is why we are the parents and they are the children. I mean honestly as adults we struggle for the correct answers. How can we expect a child to know.

If you read Ashlie's next post she explains very clearly her point. Once again, it is not rude. I found it clear with no hidden meanings. Nor, did I hear anger.

Now to Carrie... I love hearing your comments. You truly do have valid, wonderful insights. I find you to be highly intelligent and a true delight. However, your post to Ashlie was in rude. Your less than tactful response to a new member did nothing to further this community either, Carrie. So don't cast blame on her comments when she is still trying to grasp what this message board is about.

Let me finish with this...while this may not be a parenting issue it is a parents decision. What if a child comes home from their first day of school and says, "I am not going back." They get physically ill the next day or get themselves so worked up they wet their pants. What do you do? Are they at an age they can decide not to attend school? Isn't schooling as important as therapy?

I am not going to end with "in my opinion" or "respectfully stated" or any of that. Because, it is obvious it is my opinion, I am signing my name. Plus, when I post I do my best to be respectful of those who will be reading.

Joy

[Carrie]

Joy,
What I was responding to was the post:
"Thats always helpful in the longrun, rewarding a temper tantrum. Ashlie"
Which is flippant and sarcastic.
It was small and easy to miss, I usually enjoy and respect your comments as well.
Carrie

[staycee]

First I would like to thank everyone for their opinions and noone offended me by what they think cuz I thought that way too! but we have decided to take a break from swimming and concentrate on other things. I talked to Butchies Dr. and she said pretty much what I had gotten from some posts that swimming is important and we don't want to discourage him from wanting to do that so let him take a break we still get OT and we got our postcard sat. saying PT will start again(they do it in 14week periods) and she mentioned Karate and he wants to do that and the best is theres a school that offers 12 weeks of class for free so thats right up our alley lol and its all about him if he likes it he will apply himself and thats what I want for him not to just be somewhere that I make him be and get nothing out of the time. Thank you all
( my extended family lol)
Stacy

[admin]

thats awesme Stacey...

[Joy in FL]

Stacy,

Thanks for letting us know. I have always wanted to do the Karate or something along that line. But was always afraid I would end up hurting myself or someone else in the class. LOL I am not very graceful, never have been. As a matter of fact my family nick named me Grace. LOL So let me/us know how your son does.

Joy

[christy]

Ha! What a coincidence--we ran into this very situation yesterday after this long emotional discussion. katie wanted to sleep and not get in the pool, she just wanted to go home. She didn't throw a tantrum she just kept laying on my shoulder and asking to go home. Now I had a choice, I could strip her while she screams and throws a horrible tantrum and then literally plunge her into the pool and spend an hour thrashing around with her or we could work with it. So we rolled with the situation, changed pace and did land therapy at the side of the pool. She wasn't happy at first but she cooperated and finally got into it, had to make her leave! Now did she get her way--yes, she didn't do pool therapy yesterday, but she also DIDN'T get her way because she didn't get to go home and she still had a therapy session. No tantrums, no battle of wills, we just recognized the situation for what it was and took it from there. Who won--KATIE! because she still had her much needed therapy yesterday. Just thought I would share, thought maybe we had jinxed us or something with this discussion!

[Kathleen M]

I stayed out of this because ... I am obpi...
I have had my personal space invaded ever since I can remember. I also raised three children - that was a real eye opener... Three teenagers at one time!!
I choose my battles and really never lost... even when they thought they won...

I think a break from any special type of therapy is good. All of us have personal space and have to make choices... I would allow a child to take a break from aqua therapy but not therapy all together... so like Christy said... no water ...then land.... and it worked

Now a word on the water... please check and make sure it is very warm... if the water is not hot enough...with poor circulation on the bpi side it is more then just uncomfortable... Check the pool temperature... 90 or above it the best for a good stretch... if cooler the child's arm may be very cold and it become uncomfortable for them... just a thought...

I have just finished 19 visits for PT... I have ten more to go.... I HATE IT.... I have better things to do... I have a great therapist... it really helps me... but I just don't want to do it anymore... I am tired of it again.... But I am a grownup so I make myself go... but if I was a kid again I would be fighting going to ... Sometimes kids need time to be just kids and especially since bpi therapy is forever why not change courses or just give a kid a break when they are asking... before they had to act out to get someone to listen...

Most kids do not have to have therapy. Giving in to temper fits for a toy...candy... clothes...etc... is one thing... but bpi kids are not having fits over these silly things...they are upset because then don't have the time to just play and do as they please like other kids... They are constantly being pulled away from play to therapy.
When formal therapy is failing... try just home therapy for awhile then ease back into formal again...