anyone else have this happen?

[Leah 83]

Dear Minnie,
Thank you so much for this post. Your story is very amazing. A lot of the things that you have done and suggested to do I am doing right now and it sounds like I am headed in the right direction. You are a trully strong amazing individual. We have a lot in common because God is my 1st love as well, along with music but mostly singing. I watched all of the videos all of these people are so inspirational. I have one to add to the list joniandfriends.org Joni is one of the most accomplished mouth artists and started an organization for disabled people, and she can only move from the neck up.

[hope16_05]

Hi Daniel,
I hope you dont mind me replying (I am obpi)But I wanted to say that you are so not alone! I am thinking that everyone leaves because they are too scared to learn. They knew the old you and now you are someone different and they are afraid to learn. Pain affects ones life in a huge way. I saw it with myself and my father who has nerve issues just not a bpi. As some one else mentioned the pain can make it so you have no desire to go out anymore and then friends become hesitant to ask. I hardly have any friends my age because freshman year of college my pain became so bad I had no desire to go out at all...it just hurt too bad to want to do anything.

As bad as everything hurts try really hard to let your girlfriend know how much you appreciate everything. Treat her as you did before your accident and respect youself and then you can respect her. You have had a huge life changing event and mentioned your not working which as I have seen in my father hugely changes a persons ability to respect themself. This inturn affects how you relate to other people.

Even if your girl doesnt stay forever which I hope she does because you are a very strong person to have made it this far, she is lucky to have you! But if she should choose notto stay for whatever reason, kick this injurus butt and take a new stab at life! If you have any desire vocational rehab facilities can help you locate a new work interest and they even pay to get you into that new interest!

Good luck, and dont forget to go out and have a little fun, eventually you will be able to deal with the pain so it doesnt get too much in the way of things you enjoy.
Amy

ps you didnt do anything wrong! People suck and lifes events have a funny way of showing you who your real friends are!

[Ezscape]

Hi,
Well I used to be the party angemull and make all my friends laugh.I came close to having your injuries. Lost control of truck, and rolled 5 times across road into farm yard against tobacco kiln. Broken back,4 ribs, closed head injuries,all compresion fractures. Severe brachial plexus injuries with nerve avulsion c6,c7,c8,t1/2, spinal cord damage.

[chriscnaz]

These are some AMAZING stories!

Although the injuries happened to my husband and not me, I do recognize so much of what people are saying in him. His injury involved a 35 ft fall from a cell tower with BPI, spinal compression fractures, closed head trauma, steel rod in femur and multiple rib fractures.

Luckily our extended family are still around but are all very caught up in thier own lives that even though we live in the same small town they do we can go a month or more without seeing or hearin from them.

Some friends came by and/or called some at first, but that dissipated pretty quickly and its pretty much just our immeadiate family (myself, kids and dog). He had gotten his best friend a job with his comp and he was with him when he fell. He visited a few times during the month in the hospital then 2-3 times at home - then nothing for over a year, he did pop up about 6 months ago for a 10 min visit but that was it.

Its hard to see everyone else moving on with thier careers, families and lives while struggling just to keep up.

We now purposely take time to plan activites that we can do as a couple and as a family, these are much different than what we used to do, but doing different things beats giving up and not doing anything. When it seems to be really getting him down I do call on family to plan activities with so that it's someone else to spend time with.

He has created a new network online and is beining counseling to help him get over slumps when he is really feeling beat down.

Determination to not let an injury beat you is internal, but it doesn't come easy and it requires a lot of on-going effort on his part but once he made that decision the rest was just problem solving.

[racerboy]

I had a lot of sympathy cards during my initial hospital stay, but all of my friends have put me on the backburner until I get better. Always got to stay positive. I was “only” out of work for 3 months while my orthopedic injuries healed. Work has been very good to/for me. Fortunately, I can still use my right hand and forearm, it’s the bicep/shoulder I had to have verve transfer surgery for. I didn’t have any root avulsions, but certainly stretched the musculotaneous, axillary, and suprascapular nerves beyond repair. Springsteen is my solace. I can’t play my Fender guitar right now, but I can listen.

Bruce wrote a song about NYPD survivors of the 9/11 terrorist attacks called Nothing Man and there is a verse with these lyrics:

You can call me Joe
Buy me a drink and shake my hand
You want courage
I'll show you courage you can understand
Pearl and silver
Restin' on my night table
It's just me Lord, pray I'm able

When I first learned of my BPI (took from Sep until March before somebody told me what I had, and was very fortunate that Dr. Wolfe operated right away), I battled a lot with depression and suicidal ideation. I would sing this song over and over and ask myself if I did have pearl and silver on my night table, would I have the ‘courage’, but I think the real courage is to go at this injury with all you’ve got. The stories on this forum have inspired me and even though I’ve never met any of you (or anyone who ever even heard of a BPI), I no longer feel alone. I feel very fortunate to have stumbled in here, ) Thank you all.

Have you ever seen a one-armed man punching at nothing but the breeze?
If you've ever seen a one-armed man then you've seen me…
Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler

[Jannie G]

Ditto! All you brave folks who are open/honest/loving/kind and express their faith
are open about situations, honest about problems, and
respond to others in a loving and kind way
really do help others! Kudos and God bless you ALL---- BIG!

[Carolyn J]

Yes, Yes, God Bless you all. I learn sooo much from your posts and I now have stopped whinning about my injuries.
Leah, yuou Rock!

Hugs all around,
Carolyn J
LOBPI adult/70 ++++;)

[minniem]

racerboy

You said in your post you have "right hand and forearm" use and that you "can’t play (your) Fender guitar right now".. Which hand is dominant for you aka do you play right or left handed? If you tell me which hand is dominant I think I can help you play guitar. It will takes some creativity but I think it can be done. Biggest obstacle to guitar playing is movement but that can be overcome.

To explain a little about me until the accident I played twenty instruments(inclung bass, pedal; steel; acoustic, and electric guitar). After the accident I went to college to get a degree thinking art and music were gone forever. I stumbled into something I never thought of doing which is songwriting. Right now I am songwriter(nothing published yet but lots of irons in the fire).

I understand the staring at a guitar and wanting so badly to make music come out my fingers... I read your post and it just made me remember all those years of staring and wishing... I would love to help you or anyone play again for that matter.

minnie

[racerboy]

Hi minnie-
I am right-hand dominant. I can't seem to figure out how to set myself up to be able to strum. Might be able to do it laying on my back, but I'm still relatively new to the guitar and need to be able to see where I'm putting my left hand when forming chords. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Frank

[minniem]

Finger picking. Forget strumming go for finger picking especially if your fingers move. Once you learn finger picking its easy plus there is many different styles to choose from so pick one that is comfortable and your arm can do. Work on finger picking at one practice session and just chords at another practice session. When you feel comfortable with both aspects then combine them. In the beginning though just focus on one arm and one measure at a time. Another thing I would suggest is pick one song that is like three chords and just work on it. In the sixties there was was the greats like Buddy Holly who only could play five chords and scored like seven top forty hits in a career that lasted two years before he was killed in a plane crash. Many of the rock hits of the sixties are just three chords. If you have never listened to that era http://www.pandora.com/ is a free internet radio station that you can customize. If you start with easy songs you can focus on technique and then move your way up to more complicated songs.

Keith Urban is a crossover country/rock/pop songwriter/artist/musician/guitar player right now and a lot of his songs have finger picking. They are more complicated with some pretty cool riffs.

If you have trouble keeping your arm off the body of the guitar/strings grab one of those arm bands people put their ipods in when they work out only put in a deck of cards (you might have to put in a few extra cards if need be but just experiment with the thickness) then find the spot on your forearm where it works the best to raise the arm up.

Let me know if you need any help. I love music and hope you can be back playing again soon

minnie