United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

as for y child she craves interaction with other children however we had to take her out of school in thethree yr program due to issues with her arm. we are ging to tr again next year and hope for more success. although she was not excited to go in the first place she grew to love her class mates and the fn that they had. when we went to look at the new school she was thriled. the way i see it, she realy needs to knw how to interact with other children most especially since she has challanges otherwise. if it doesn't work out then we will just begin again at another time. the thing i was really encouraged about is that her teacher asked to meet with her ot so that she could best help her to succeed. maybe it will bea good thing!! good luck

please excuse the type-os i have a bandage on one finger!!! hope you can decipher

So much great info. Thanks. I don't know if he will be able to receive OT/PT not being in school, but I do not want him to go. He does not have alot of interaction with other kids his age and usually does not know how to get along with them very well-share for example. He is my baby of 4 the others being teens and yes it is very hard to let go of my "baby".

Our school system allows parents who choose not to put their child in a program to still bring them for a therapy appointment. In our area, it is required that the school system provides therapy after age 3 (EIP before age 3), but they have to qualify. They have to be in another ex ed program like speech and their difficulties have to be considered "educationally relevant." For example, if they have enough range to do school-oriented tasks, they're considered functional, as opposed to "medically relevant" therapy your child has been receiving thus far, which would look at issues from a medical perspective and would be more all-inclusive. So anyway, what I'm trying to say is many BPI kids don't qualify for school system therapy - just depends - have him evaluated and see. The other thing you can do is if you have insurance or Medicaid that is paying, then you can continue private therapy and don't have to go thru the sch. sys. at all, or supplement school therapy w/ private therapy. Hope this helps!

Paula,

Interaction at his age is very important. My son would not share with other kids and was developing some anti-social personality traits UNTIL preschool. Try to find one that is for only 1 or 2 days a week. They won't want you to stay because you will disrupt your child and perhaps the class too, but many have a peeking window. If it would make you feel better you could sit there and watch a few times. Or maybe you could volunteer to be a helper in the class. Lots of moms at our school do this.

You should "try" to get your son involved with other kids. The anti-social behavior and problems with sharing "could" become an issue if you don't nip this in the butt now.

You let go because you love your son. You need to ask herself why you want to hold on and prevent him from learning the skills that he needs. He needs to learn to be independant of Mommy, his family, and so on and prove to himself that he is as capable as the other kids his age (which he can be if you let him be). It is selfish of any parent to prevent their children from growing up and becoming social because they want to keep them needy for the parent's benefit. It is a loving parent who is strong enough to let go so that their child can learn the tools to be strong, confident and capable. A parent's job is to help their children learn to become independant adults, and teach their children how to survive socially. Baby-ing your child at a time that they need to learn to be strong will only hurt them. What type of a child do you want to raise? Look down the road a few years. You could either have a clingy, selfish, whiney, scared seven year old who doesn't know how to make friends or share - sits alone because the other kids don't want to play with him because he doesn't play fair or know how to join in - - - or a child who can venture away from Mom and make his own friends because he has the social skills needed and the confidence in himself.
Although home school is an option, I feel that it has huge disadvantages for the child, even in the early years. That is a personal decision that you will have to make.
Love your son enough to help him learn that he can do things himself - and that you believe in him. A few days of play group/school a week - without you right there so that he has to think on his own - would be so good for him.

Dear "guest for a reason"
You have many good points, however, I DO NOT want to keep my son a baby for my own personal "benefits". You make me sound as if I am a needy mother/person that thrives on the acceptance of other people. If you knew me you would know that I am a very independant person, not anti-social either as I would not ever post here but a person that is very confident in herself, that is in a group of people or just alone. I wrote in my original post that I am scared of letting go and that is due to an incident that occured last month at the pediatricians office. He pulled my son up by his BPI arm only, had it been both it would not have been so bad . Not only that but my son just had CAPS Nov 12th. He could have been reinjured! Kids play rough and teachers sometimes do not think and can grab a child by an arm and pull, so as to lead a child elsewhere. THAT my dear guest is what I am scared of. Of course, we as parents miss our childs baby years, but that does not mean that I have every intention of keeping him a baby at the age of 10. That is unheard of here. My other children like I said are teens and they are very socially adapted and very friendly teens.
NULL:
Thanks so much for your words. I have been taking him to McDonalds playplace and he does not want to be alone on the "big toys", but I am working on that. I gues I should have mentioned that there are 2 other babies here next door that he plays with, just not as often as I woud like. Anyhow you have some excellent points, thanks.

ok this did not work out good.
My first responce is for "null" and the last is for "guest". It was posted different when I hit reply.

Guest for a reason:
I disagree with, "You let go b/c you love your son."
I DID NOT let go of Hannah at age 3. She was, and still is, my life and I wasn't ready to put her into the hands of strangers. So I didn't love her? She had social interaction with family and friends at that age. Who says that I kept her "needy" for my "benefit?" I did not benefit from this nor did Hannah lack any socialization skills!
I felt that is wasn't right to let her go age such an early age. Today at 5, Hannah is far from shy, far from clingy, she interacts with children and adults just perfectly! Then you say,
" What type of a child do you want to raise? Look down the road a few years. You could either have a clingy, selfish, whiney, scared seven year old who doesn't know how to make friends or share - sits alone because the other kids don't want to play with him because he doesn't play fair or know how to join in - - - or a child who can venture away from Mom and make his own friends because he has the social skills needed and the confidence in himself."
I think this is a crude statement. It actually sounds like you have no children at the school age or that you are bitter towards some things you feel that you did wrong in the past. Maybe I am wrong, but you CANNOT say that a childs future depends on one early year of Pre K. You teach your child how to share and behave, not a teacher. A teacher can help with this, but it is the parents job to show a child how to behave. A child's future depends on the love and care that is given to them from family members, most importantly mom and dad. Therefore, how would one extra year of being with mom or dad be bad for their developement? Simply...it's not! Here is another quote from you:
"A parent's job is to help their children learn to become independant adults, and teach their children how to survive socially."
I agree with this, but this is not something that happens in that 3rd year of life. This statement becomes true as the years go along and as you teach your child how to do things on their own, not dropping them off at school. That teaches them nothing about "surviving socially" since it is such a young age.
Lastly, my children think on their own whether they are in a play group, in school, or home. Just b/c I am here at home with them DOES NOT mean that I am up their butt and they are up mine. Did you ever have experience being home with your child? Sounds like you have not. If you did then I have no idea where your words are coming from. I have a totally different experience and outlook (obviously =))
Basically, all I am trying to say is that any child will be just fine if they start school at 4 and not 3. It takes a lifetime of teaching, loving and caring...not one year, not two years. It's much more involved than deciding if they have school or playgroups!
~krista~