United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hopeless,

Married with two kids? That doesn't sound bad at all to me. There's three people who will love you, arm and all. And you're right, life is hard, and having a BPI can make it harder. But so can so many other things. Depression certainly makes it harder too. You should try to see a counselor, and ask your doctor if they think you need medicine to help. 'Tis not healthy to have so bleak an outlook on life. I wish you luck in the rest of your life, and I hope this forum helps you to know you're not alone.

Lindsey

Thank you I feel that here I m not alone.
And yes my wife and my daughter they help me when I need. But in fact I do almost every work by myself. I don't want to be in need of someone else's help. I want to do everything by myself. But I also try to hide my disability from other people. Is it possible all the time? Maybe not but I feel comfortably by hiding. I don't want other people say "Oh! What a pity!, How terrible! etc." This has always been a fact in my life. Is this like that in your life also?

I hope this site will help you as much as it has me Like the others who have answered,I to am worried about you.Life can be terribly hard but vwe can make it.I have bpi in both arms and have had surgery for bpi and for cysts un spinal chord.I no longer can work or drive.but you can't dwell on the bad.I have a wonderful husband,two kids and a perfect grandchild.You have a job and a wonderful family.It's fine to have a pity party but try not to dwell on your disability.I can not drive but I know there are many people with disabilitys who do.By finding this site you have so many people who know what you are going through and can help you and answer questions that other people can't.I never knew anyone with erbs until I found this site.You nsaid you naren't as depressed as you sound but you're still depressed and may need somebody to talk to.I will keep you in my prayers .Don't forget you're not alone.God Bless You.

Hopeless

I read this post this morning and wondered what I could say. I am not usually at a loss for words but your post left me wondering.

Is your depression just for the moment or just because you feel free enough to share it with those of us who understand.

When I found UBPN I was depressed to see all of the babies injured like me. Then a few adults began to post and I was so happy to meet others who understand. I began to research my injury and realized all of the many ways it impacted my life. I went through a mourning process. I mourned my losses and then counted my blessings. I realize that being bpi made me different not disabled. Only I can disable myself. Of course when I was younger I also went through times when I just felt frustrated and annoyed by this whole arm thing and wished it would just go away... but it did'nt and I had to cope as best as I could. I realized that I was more than an arm and could really do anything I wanted to and even somethings I did not want to do.

I think most obpi look at things in a different way. I look at everything and wonder if I CAN do it. Most people look at things and wonder if they WANT to do it. As a result I tried so many crafts, sports etc... just to see if I could...

I have a theory about obpi kids, they are creative, stubborn, compassionate and persistent. They have to be and those traits may never have developed if I had not been obpi. I realized that there are many positive as well as negatives that come with this injury.

If you are feeling depressed most of the time and this post was not due to a melt down from a bad week. I suggest you seek expert help... it is important to find someone who will listen and try to help you get your feeling out and validated.

If it help any I think we all have melt down moments. Times when we can't do the things we want and blame it on the darn arm back neck thing... I guess we have daily mini melt-downs... I try to hang on to my sense of humor at those times... or just throw a pillow which ever suits my fancy at the moment... but then I move on and realize that everyone has their own personal frustrations.

Have you thought about coming to camp to meet up with other adult/obpi and families impacted by this injury?
It is in August at Lake George.... it should be great and I know from experience it is soooo great to meet and talk with others who have faced the same frustrations....

Take care and be well
Kath

Kathleen you desribed exactly how I feel at times.Like you I tried whatever I could because I can't do it was not allowed when growing up.It is hard to accept limitations and now that we are adults we have to.Who knew we would have secondary problems.Some days are better than others and I have a hard time when I can't do something.You call them meltdowns,I call them pity parties.A sense of humor does help as well as support from friends and this wonderful web site.Thanks Andrea53