United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I'm happy, and I don't live and breathe my son's injury. Of course I have bad days and get in funks like everyone else, but on the whole my life has been blessed and I focus on that. I am also proactive, maybe not to the extent that some others are, but to the extent that I am able to be. I don't think you have to be angry or naegative to be proactive. For some people it gives them a good way to channel their anger. However in my personal situation I have not got some of the reasons others to to be angry. My ds' injury was not the result of negligence. I am sure if my midwife had injured my ds due to her negligence or I had had the traumatic experinces some have had I'd be angry to some extent also. Pam

Christy,
I just wanted to say I appreciate your post. You said a lot of what i feel also. So good to see positivity. Pam

Hey Dawn,

Have not had a chance to read all of the post but just wanted to let you know I am very happy! I mean how can I not be with a name like JOY! I figure if I wake up in the morning I have a reason to be happy. I woke up this morning, thus.... HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY! LOL

Great reply Francine. You said it all. It felt so good writing down all the things I was angry about. I usually can't say them out loud because I always start to cry, but it felt good to write them down. Someday I'll get it all down on paper. You can't deny these feelings. P.S. My son has never had a dislocated shoulder...I have heard a little about this, but it has never happened. Would it have already happened to him if it is going to (He will be 4 soon)? Thanks...Jody

Am I happy, right now yes. I also feel anger, frustration, and despare at times. When I was pregenant a test came back abnormal and we went through 6wks of testing and preparing ourselves for the fact that Rosalynn may have Spinabifida. We had to go to a gentics counselor who offered abortion as an option. That was TOTALLY out of the qustion for us. On the long ride home my husband and I talked. He was dumbstruck by the idea that someone could abort a child because it had physical problems. In his words "I am gald this happened to us. I hate to think if this would have happened to another baby instead and their parents would have aborted it. No matter what we are going to love and take care of Stan" (At the time we thought we were going to have a boy. Rosalynn ended up not having spinabifida, but did recieve a BPI at birth. In all of this I am thankful for the community here letting me vent and cry as needed. But also I think we all try to keep things in persepctive too. I've added on a little thing I got in the e-mail that helps me keep it in perspective.
> > Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair. and wished I was
> > as
> > fair.
> > When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
> > She
> > had one leg and wore a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a
> > smile.
> >
> > Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have 2 legs, the world is mine.
> >
> > I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm. I
> > talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm.
> > And
> > as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind. It's
> > nice
> > to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, "I'm blind."
> >
> > Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.
> >
> > Later while walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of
> > blue.
> > He stood and watched the others play. He did not know what to do.
> > I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join the others,
> > dear?" He looked ahead without a word. And then I knew, he couldn't
> > hear.
> >
> > Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have 2 ears, the world is mine.
> >
> > With feet to take me where I'd go. With eyes to see the sunset's
> > glow. With ears to hear what I'd know. Oh, God, forgive me when I
> > whine. I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
> >

JOY! you said it! I know how you feel...came very close to death a few times since Maia's birth and it is true - when you wake up in the morning there's plenty to be happy about! Thanks for reminding me of that perspective!
-francine

Cara,

Thank you so much for the poem. I too am so thankful for my daughter and am glad that she did not suffer any other problems from the delivery. We went through amnio because of "my advanced age" and I went to all my prenatal appts., took vitamins, etc. to do all I could to have a healthy baby. I am angry that the doctor did something to change that, but I have to go on now. I try to make things as normal as I can in our lives because we do have a almost 4 yr. old that didn't ask for this to happen to her sister. We go to the park, take nature walks, throw rocks in the water, etc. but I know that I am always over-analyzing my baby's movements. I try to look at my daughter as a whole person, focusing on her expressive personality, her cute smile, her giggle; but it is hard at times. The first 17 months have been rough but I hope things will get easier as far as her injury is concerned. (With 2 girls I know the fun is yet to come!!!) But I don't like it when people ask me what happened to my daughter because they see the nasty scar on her neck or they notice the way that she holds her arm when she walks. I want them to see her as a whole person too and comment on how cute she is or what a happy kid she is. I think all of us have our ups and downs, but I don't think you'll find one person that is not thankful for their child or one who couldn't list a million things about their child that makes them happy!

This post seems to suggest that we are all furious moms stomping around obsessing with bpi all day, every day...which, from eight years of experience meeting and getting to know our community I can firmly say is not an accurate representation.

Yes, this injury influences our lives, and yes, we come here to this forum to share our experiences, which include joy as well as sorrow. It is easy to share joy, much more difficult to share sorrow. I am thankful that we have a forum in which people feel safe sharing negative emotions.

Bridget

Dawn,
I like to think that I am a happy person!! Thanks for asking!! I hope you have a very happy day!
Blessings,
Kristie