United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's great to know how supportive you are for your daughter and granddaughter. I know that my mother and mother in law are deeply hurt by the injury caused to my daughter so I can understand what you are feeling. My condolences to you and your family.

Lou,
I think that it is awesome that you are so involved in your grandchild injury. I lost my father over my child's injury and I wish everyday that he would wake up and realize that this injury is quite serious

Hey,
Claudia, thank you for understanding. I would have replied soooner - I've had company here (still here....)anyway...
Please don't get me wrong - I love my parents so much - there are good ones! They just do not understand the injury and even though they have the 'Outreach' and me over the years trying to explain the doctors appts - they still don't seem to realize and then they see her and they worry because they love her but they do not know her really - to know that she is OK and to them they see this beautiful granddaughter, their first born granddaughter, with her arm a little different, and I can tell somtimes by the way that they look at her and the questions that they ask about her that they are concerned - but they do not see her everyday - they do not see that her everyday life is great - her weekends are packed with b-day parties, her weeks are packed with sports - I wish they could live here and and then they'd understand that their granddaughter is just fine - but they don't live here and so they worry. My sister told me that my brother asks about my daughter all of the time - he never called me but calls her to find out about her - go fiugre - I guess he just doesn't want to talk about it with me but is concerned. It's almost like her injury is a secret or something - kind of stupid! We know she has one!!!

Christy:
I think you are right-- when they don't live near you to see that things are ok for you. My mom lives 5 minutes away and so she sees all of my kids all the time.
I find it so odd when family members don't want to ask about the injury...my brother will only ask if he finds out something is already happening. He stopped asking after primary surgery...then he started waiting to be told. But!! he was the first one to send an e-greeting to Juliana at her last surgery... go figure.
I have had family members tell me that it is good that I am the one to have an injured child because "you're the one who is so good at these things." Good at what things??? taking care of my kids??? oy vey!

I really do think that some people (family included) choose not to see the injury for what it is, because it saves them the pain. And sometimes, I think it is good that not everyone wants to talk about it. Juliana has some family members who just ask her about school and friends...

hope your holiday was fun,
claudia

So sorry that I have not responded, individually, to those of you that have responded to my post, since I last responded.Thank you all. We have a houseful of company but I will respond to all of you on Monday or Tuesday. May I just say to Mamaw today, that your post brought tears to my eyes as I echo exactly what you have said. The differences in my daughter and her husband pre and post the injured child are so obvious. There are no sparkles in their eyes now , only pain.It is just so sad.. It would be so nice if there was a UBPN forum for "Grandma's and other relatives."This is the first time in 6+ years that I have had anyone to discuss these feelings with and it sounds like many others would appreciate a place to talk. How about it UBPN? If not, perhaps we could figure out some other way to get together and discuss this painful injury. I am so sorry for your grand daughter's injury and everyone else's relative's injury. More later. Lou

bump