over-use in injured arm - 11 yr old

[CW1992]

Hi. Brittney just left for school and her injured arm was really hurting her. Yesterday they had endurance test practice in PE. They did sort of like an obstacle course. She had to do 120 sit ups, 60 push ups, jump rope (I think for 5 minutes), monkey bars, and sprints - trying to finish the obstacle course as quickly as possible. She says that since her injured arm is a little shorter - it holds all her weight when she does push ups and monkey bars. I asked her if she could just count by two's instead and she said they'd be able to tell she was cheating.... (great Mom role model huh??) My solution - I gave her Motrin and sent her to school! I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I asked her if she wanted me to talk to the PE teacher and she got really upset and said "NO!" "Everybody is hurting today - not just me!" Some kids couldn't do the pushups and others couldn't do monkey bars. She is very proud that she is so athletic and she'd rather hurt herself than admit things are hard for her. She is best at sit-ups and worst at push ups so her time evened out and she ended up finishing pretty close to her friends. I guess I'm just sitting here worrying and wondering if I should even allow her to do all that she does - - but of course she would be crushed if I did something (promised her I wouldn't talk to the PE teacher). A girl the other day told Brittney that she thought she was a really good runner even though she has an arm problem..... ticked Brittney off - but fueled the fire - and I know Brittney made sure she beat that kid yesterday..... Those insulting compliments aggravate her.... I hope her Motrin kicks in soon. She doesn't have PE today so she'll get a break but they'll do it all again tomorrow. Just venting here and worrying - thanks for listening.
Christy

[Kathleen]

Christy

I hate to say it but that is the way it goes... If you want us to move at all you have to understand we don't give up!

If this was something she had to do on a regular basis I would be concerned and then step in and speak to the PE teacher... However, if it is only once or twice a year and Brit really wants to be on her own with this... you just have to give her the motrin and rub her with mineral ice if she can handel it... and let go... There are times in our lives when we just have to do it our way.

There is a time to instruct a bpi child when to hold back but I don't think its at 11 -- I think this is the time to spread our "Wings" and fly and if we don't make it we learn our limitations and also the areas where we do best... like winning the race - I guess the other girl learned that Britney does not run with her arm but her legs and they are fast... LOL... LOL...
She is happy to be sore just like everyone else and she made it through a happier person for it.

Now do you feel better some times we just need to give our kids wings... they will do the rest.

Kath

[CW1992]

Thanks Kath! All day I've been wondering if maybe I should stop her from over-doing it. All day I've felt guilty! She came home from school and was still so sore - I gave her more Motrin - and then she had soccer practice..... Tonight she wanted me to stretch her out and we talked. She wants to be right in there with her friends right now - and doesn't want any extra attention because of her arm. ("because then people will only think about it") She'd rather just try to do what she can. Her whole left arm, shoulder, and chest are really hurting - her right side is fine. Her injured arm must have done all of the arm work. I sure needed to read your post tonight Kath. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for making me feel better!:)
Christy

[njbirk]

I agree completely with Kath's advice. I couldn't say it any better.

As far as the pain goes, I have found a cold-pac really helps, and if she can do warm (like in a hot tub) followed by cold, that really really helps. And an anti-inflammatory like Motrin or ibuprofin helps too.

She will learn her own limits.

Nancy

[CW1992]

Thanks for replying Nancy. This morning she seemed to be moving better - and was joking as usual. She was trying to swing her arms and was saying - "Not sure if I could move my arm like this before but I'm doing it now - hope that's a good thing!"

I'm hoping that they don't do 'endurance' today in PE because she might not make it past the first push up. They had been doing line-dancing before in PE and she liked that - it didn't hurt! I think they have some sort of a state test that the PE teacher is trying to prepare them for and that's why he is working them so hard.
Thanks for your help and I will try the hot tub and then cold water when she gets home from school.
Christy

[jep98056]

Christy:
I remember those PE tests. They were always a challenge, especially the pushups and chin ups. I'd end up doing them one handed until I just couldn't go any further. It was discouraging to see the other kids keep going but I'd turn to cheering them on. Deflected the attention I guess. I'm wondering if the girl who said Brittney is a good runner was really paying her a compliment. Maybe Brittney's is faster than she is.

Brittney's going to do fine. I certainly wouldn't talk to the PE teacher until you have a scheduled parent-teacher conference. I'd bring it up then though to point out that Brittney isn't looking for any special treatment but the teacher needs to be aware of the difficulty she has with certain PE activities.

John P.

[CW1992]

Thanks for replying John and you seem to really understand Brittney's feelings. I can see her too going one handed until she'd drop - very determined - but always roots her classmates on or tells them how great they are doing. I think too (like you said) that with her complimenting them it does take the spotlight off of her struggling at times and they seem more understanding. The girl who gave her the running compliment probably was giving her an actual compliment - but Brittney says this same girl always brings up her arm about everything. (like - 'I can't believe YOU can even do one push up with an arm like that'...... Britt thinks she tries to be nice but sort of insults her at the same time. This girl is never really mean or anything though. Brittney thinks it's sort of like saying to an overwieght kid - "can't believe YOU can run so well ....as heavy as you are..."

You were exactly right too that Brittney's main concern is that she does NOT want special treatment/attention. She's afraid that the PE teacher would be overly protective of her. He's a really nice guy.

Thanks for your input and your understanding.
It's so nice to have friends who understand the feelings that go with the injury.
Christy

[Tina]

Christy::

I also agree with Kath, Nancy and John. At that age I think we were all just beginning to figure out what we could and could not do. For me it was also about the age when the pressure of being "normal/like everyone else" set in. The main point is, WE are the only ones who can figure out what those limitations are!! I hated hated those tests, because I couldn't do a pullup to save my life!!! let alone most of the other things. I did however learn that there were other things that I did excel in (maybe just not that part of PE). So as Kath explained, we all figured it out and went on to become who we are this day

I think the only time my Mother had to "step in" in regards to the PE teacher, was in Jr. High School. The Teacher (Ms Hall/who I will never forget in my entire life hahaha) was determined to MAKE me learn to swim!! I am Bi-Lateral and that is NOT one of the things I excelled in then or now lol She threw me in the deep end of the pool.......................but only ONCE!!!!!

That was an instance where I allowed my Mother to "interfere" haha I can actually remember being that age and thinking how MUCH MUCH more embarassing it would be to have my Mom do something then to just grin and bear it and try to accomplsih whatever it was I was trying to do!!!

I would say to Brit.................YOU GO GIRL !!!! and let it be at that.

You have to pick and chose your battles, and this might not be one

Tina

[CW1992]

Tina, Thank you for replying. I can't imagine how scarey that must have been to be thrown in a pool. I bet your Mom was furious! If I were you I'd be tempted to hunt down that teacher today and teach her how to do something.... What you described about Britt being totally embarrassed if I stepped in - is exactly right. Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to protect her and I feel guilty that maybe she wouldn't feel like she needed to prove to everyone if I had just let them all know to begin with. That's how I felt the other day. She was in so much pain - could barely lift her injured arm. I kept thinking that maybe if I had talked to the PE teacher..... I worried that she really over did it and I was blaming myself for letting her. It's hard letting her set her limits!! She is back moving good today. Hearing you and the others tell about your feelings at her age has helped me so much. I really needed to hear that I was doing the right thing by not interfering right now. She wants to handle this her way and I need to let her.
Thanks again for your help,
Christy

[CW1992]

Thought I'd update you all. Last week Britt had to do the whole endurance thing again. She did fine. Her and her best friend were partners and her friend miscounted purposely on the stuff that was hard for Britt to do so that she would only have to do half of the amount of push ups and stuff. They made up for it with sit ups and running though - and now she is all done with that in PE for the year I think. She was sore for days (but thought her stomach muscles looked great! LOL) Britt's little sister (6 yrs old - 1st grader) heard her complaining of the pain her arm and shoulder were giving her because of the PE test and decided to write a note for Brittney to give their PE teacher for next time. It was pretty sweet - "Please don't make my sister do push ups because it hurts her - tell her to run". That meant more to Britt than anything and she saved the note. I am glad that I stayed out of it and let her get through this herself. She did fine.
Now swimteam season starts in two weeks - lap after lap daily - HELP! She'll do fine. Her motto is "I'm not here to swim fast, I'm here to look good!"
Thanks again for your advice and help,
Christy