United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

My left arm is shorter that my right. I usually try to hide it by putting my hands in my pockets or carrying my pocketbook under that arm. But sometimes people will observe me and start asking personal questions about. I don't like to talk about it and after 34 years, it still bothers me to talk about it. How do you handle it?

Hi Trinda

Welcome to the board... glad you posted.... my right arm is shorter and sometimes people still ask me...

It depends on who asks... strangers
I use to just say...

"It is a birth injury the doctor pressed too hard and injured me"

Now that I have learned so much about this injury during the last three years I use it as an opportunity to educate and prevent injury....

So I tell them that this happend during the birthing process and is preventable....

It is annoying when strangers ask and when I was younger I was sooooo much more embarassed when people asked.... especially in large crowds... I really tried to ignore it and most times I did forget about it till someone else brought it to my attention.

I also stick my pocketbook under that arm...
I use to hang my pocketbook over my shoulder and hook my thumb in the strap to hold my arm up so it would not just hang with the elbow sticking out.... but I went to the New York gathering in August and met with Dr. Nath.... and as I was leaving I threw my pocket book over my right shoulder and he... called me back and he told not to carry a pocketbook on that shoulder that it really was not good for it.... so now I use one with shorter handles and stick it under my arm.... but then again when ever I have lots of stuff to carry I just keep sticking it under my arm till its full....LOL.... then I try to remember to take the stuff out as I move along..... LOL...

Welcome to the site
ops.... I am 62 .... and sometimes it annoys me when people ask in public calling attention to my arm... But now I am much more relaxed about it since I found UBPN and so many other obpi, who like me have the same questions asked all the time... I guess finding ubpn just made me more comfortable in my own body... Sharing with others on the board has helped me to learn to talk about it... I kept quiet for 60 years...

Kath

Trinda:
I'm not self conscious about my injury but am aware of it certain situations like photos, speaking to a group, or helping someone carry something. When speaking to an audience, I want people to hear the message and not be distracted by my arm so I'l try to keep it quiet by my side. However, that's not always possible. I'm often asked about how I hurt my arm and, like Kathleen, I'll simply say that I was injured during birth. For most people that's enough, but some have wanted more details. If appropriate, I'll provide the details as I understand them. Most people are surprised that such injuries happen and, as indicated by this forum, are still happening. Kathleen made an excellent point. Explaining our injuries is a good way to educate others about BPI and maybe help a child avoid injury.

By the way, I'm 63 and I think the senior member of the forum so far. Right Kathleen?

John P.

John

Yes you are!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!! I was tired of being the oldest bpi baby on the Board..... LOL...

But in Nov. I catch up to you.... I celebrate my 63rd and in Dec... I celebrate the fact that I found UBPN and the Erb's Palsy group.... and learned so much about our injury....

Thanks for finding the board and I gladly hand of the title of oldest bpi BABY to you..... LOL..

Kath

I have to say when someone askes us it is another time to get the word out... also... I think it is better to ask than just stare.

What I say to stangers totally depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm the kind, educational Carolyn, who gives a description about the injury and tries hard to make the person feel at ease. Othertimes, it goes like this: I was in a game store buying a playing card holder, so I can more easily play gin rummy or poker or whatever. The clerk looked at the holder and said, "boy, how lazy do you have to be to buy one of these!" "Well," I said, "when you are disabled from birth and have no use of your left arm, not very lazy at all." I know I shouldn't have, but I really enjoyed how red he got. Sometimes its empowering to strike one back at those bozos who just don't get that some people in this world live wth disabilities!