United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

My kid. Her right arm is definitely weird, she doesn't know that. She is six. Someday, her weird arm may actually matter to her, but mostly as an object for her to paint. She will paint a picture of me, her many friends in front of some beautiful landscape, and her with her right arm twisted and short. And she couldn't give a crap.

At six my kid tested off the charts to be placed in a Gifted (Project IDEA) program. Her actually severe BPI means absolutely nothing to her, it is totally relevant to her.

What did I do to help her? She recieved PT/OT until she was about five. She and I agreed that she needed to reach higher, so she had a mod quad at Shriners. My daughter and I are super close: she and I walked through all the consequent therapy as a total team.... Then the months thereafter, and we did everything, played at everything, read everything, and painted everything.... Then I became employed for depeserate financial reasons, and she blooomed. I am always there in the early am, and late pm, and weekends, but she chose her path. Of course I am a single parent. And I am so proud....

Love is an act, and not a feeling....

So relaxed

Yes, life is good :0) Thank you for your beautiful post.

I'm not trying to be picky or anything, but do you think it's ok to call your kid's arm weird? I mean, that might hurt her feelings.

I was thinking the saem thing, but thought I might be overreacting. Thank you for confirming my suspision. I would never call my childs arm, weird, bad or even injured....we prefer "SPECIAL"

Well, I have a bpi. I HATE special! I prefer weird! So I guess everyone's different. Weird only has negative vibes if you yourself think weird is negative-I don't. Whereas 'special' to me means people trying to avoid the issue. I get so sick of people pussy footing round me, trying not to mention 'the arm'. It embarasses me and then draws more attention to me.
JUST MY 2 CENTS! But I liked that mommies message and I think her child will be just fine, 'weird' arm or not!

I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS SO SO SMART. I REALLY THINK SHE IS A GENIUS. MY SON WHO HAS THE INJURY IS ONE HECK OF A TALENT AS WELL. HE IS GOING TO BE A SINGER OR SOMETHING WITH HIS FEET. HE CAN DO AMAZING THINGS SUCH AS JUMPING AND SWIM. I AM WONDERING IF ANYONE HAS NOTICED A LACK IN VERBAL SKILLS IN OUR WONDERFUL BPI KIDS? THANKS

I am so happy that your child is gifted - she will do great in life. My child is also gifted - her IQ is WAY up there - and even if she wasn't gifted it sure would NOT matter! I am alittle offended by the "weird" because I love every thing about my child and her arm is part of who SHE IS.! She makes me so proud every single day because of her strength. Her arm has never been "weird" to me - just something that makes her who she is!!!! Also because of her injury I think she is about the strongest kid because she has to try harder and still comes out ahead! She does things that most people can't - her determination is extreme! My child will NEVER be "weird" just who she is and I love her.
Christy

I have a right arm and a left arm. I don't care for any terms like weird, special, bad etc...
If I have to explain why my arm does not function I usually say it's the bpi arm.

I find terms like weird and bad offensive and I would not take kindly to anyone referring to my arm as weird.
Yet, in a group of bpi injured we engage in black humor and can laugh our selves silly...
It's something only another bpi injured could say to me.

I guess it's like ethnic jokes, one can make them about their own culture and laugh but not about an other culture.

I feel I am a whole normal person and would not want anyone to focus on my arm.
If someone called my arm weird I would assume that they only see me as the girl with the injured arm and not me as a whole person.

Kath adult/robpi

Hey Kath! I agree completely!! If Britt says a funny about her arm injury it is fine but if anyone else does - IT HURTS! She had a kid last week carry her stuff for her to her locker (he offered) and he said "I've always wondered about your arm and what happened and she said " I was ran over by a train as a baby" and she said that he freaked out and then she told him the true story. He understood and told her he was so sorry and he would carry her stuff for her whenever he saw her. I feel It's OK if you have black humor ABOUT YOURSELF if you want to - especially with those who can understand - we do that a lot in our house -but it should be up to the person trying to deal with the injury...
I let her take the lead. It's OK if you make fun of yourself or laugh at things but when other people do it hurts! My daughter is a whole person, not weird, bad, she did nothing wrong, tries so hard non-stop, and like I said - I LOVE her.
Thanks for sharing Kath!
Christy

My kid is also gifted and believe it or not, wants to be a surgeon. I am hoping the arm will never stop him from reaching for his dreams in life.