United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hi All, As Cori has told you,Tricia lost in the trial.Therefore, I can go back to posting with the name I began with, 6+ long years ago. After primary and mod quad surgeries, litigation talks were considered.Having been very active on the Lester's old Erb's Palsy board and the new UBPN board, I was told not to post any longer.I did not want the defense to confiscate my computer as evidence, yet I felt the need to post, so I began changing my name. I have been known as SusanFFF, guest, etc. and until I was finally forced to stop posting, I have been known to you as Original Anon.I am telling you this long story, in the hope that this explanation will make some of you more tolerant of Anon or guest posts.Many of these folks are doing so for the same legal reason as I did.I can not get into the trial, at this point, as I am still sick to my stomach and feel that a piece of my heart has been yanked out.Yet I know that with Tricia's upcoming bone cutting surgery, I must forgive and move on. However, I did want to thank all of my old friends, as well as the new friends that I met,as I rode among you on my little red skooter, at the latest Camp UBPN ..Your phone calls, email support and prayers were appreciated more than words can express.Cori has told me how many of you supported her and I thank you.I know how much all of your support helped her get through those long 9 days. Some day, when I stop seeing one and only one face, on the defense stand, I will write, a mother's - grandma's reflections on the trial.As Cori tried to write a factual, informational and helpful post, mine will be more of a why ? -- post as I am totally shocked and saddened and need help understanding. Lou

What a wonderful grandma you are!! To care so much for your Tricia and come aboard for support and research. I know your not the only one to do that so far but your one of the few "other" relatives. Hugs to you for being soooo supportive of Cori and Tricia. And another for your loss. We are here for you!
Paula

Lou
I am glad that you are back I missed you. I hope somehow you will be able to make peace with this loss. I know its hard to understand. I, as an obpi, cannot understand at all how this can happen. I know it hard on the family but there comes a time to make peace with the injury and move on. This injury is just part of who I am and I guess it is what makes me - ME...
I have always told you I have never been defined by my arm nor will your precious baby.

My prayers go out to you.

Ma-
Let's not talk about surgery yet, okay?
-Cori

I Ms. Lou,

I don't know you, I'm new to this, but I also, have a new baby grand-daughter w/BPI. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family also.

Yolanda827

Thanks Paula and all of you for your kind words. I need them now! Kathleen, Yes, I know, in my brain that to make peace and move on is true but my heart won't allow me to do it yet. I'll email you as I want details on your little ones. Cori, Sorry, I made a mistake. I must truly be brain dead as I know that you guys have not made a final decision on the type of surgery and yes, it can wait, Jared's Mom, No aplogy required as it was I that misled you and spoke out of turn. Yolanda 327, Words can not express my sorry about your injured grand daughter. Email me if I can help you. Thanks again and happy THanksgiving to all of you.Lou

Dear Lou,

I am so sorry for the loss your entire family has suffered... again. I know that for myself, the horror of this injury would only be matched by the horror that justice turned a blind eye. It is hard to believe in the world where such things can happen.

I'm sorry that the thread following Cori's announcement degenerated. I know that, for myself, I reacted with shock and dismay, for you all but also out of fear of *my* worst nightmare coming true. I'm sorry if anything I said was hurtful or disrespectful. I know that many of us still have so many questions... I look forward to your posts in the future, when you are ready, where maybe we can all help each other understand how such a travesty of justice could take place.

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Kate

I realixe that this is kind of irrelavant - but it touches me to know that grandmas are on this board. I wish that my parents would understand more. My daughter is 12 and sometimes I feel that they do not 'get it', what my child goes thru, but still how strong she is and I wish they would not pity her but be proud of all that she is capable of - I think that my husband and I are the proudest parents in the world but they still look at my daughter concerned - but I guess they can't help that because we've always lived far from eachother.

I find it interesting that a grandma posts, only in that I didn't realize the effect that Juliana's injury had on my mom until about 2 years ago.

I was preparing to go for her 3rd surgery and my mom and I were having lunch. She said she was really angry at our old ob for doing this...if he just hadn't dropped the ball. I was so wrapped up in my pain and in the daily grind of therapy that I didn't realize that my mom was really hurting over this. I think she comes on these boards and lurks occassionally, but I don't think she would ever post. (Just not her style)

My mom is phenomenal and we are very close. Christy, do you think your parents just don't want to get it??? It is certainly less painful to ignore the injury than to really look at it.

Grandma Lou--my hat is off to you. You daughter is very lucky and so is your granddaughter.

good luck,
claudia

I too am a grandmother that has posted here for years. Well I did until we started legal action and that had to stop.

I cannot speak for every grandparent and our circumstances are a little different than most. But, as a grandmother my heart is broken everytime I see the fatigue, worry, heartache and fear on MY baby's face because her of her baby's injury. PLUS I get to experience those same exact feelings for my grandbaby.

As a BPI parent you are so afraid of the unknown, especially in the beginning but mostly you are just so darn busy getting to know your baby and the day to day care in addition to all of the BPI work. But you don't see those feelings in you BPI baby's face. As a grandparent we do, we see it on our kid's face. And because some of us aren't closely involved we don't hear what the DRs have had to say or perhaps don't have the knowledge or access to this website or just not close enough that we jsut don't get it then we have to worry about the decisions we see our kids make for the BPI baby. As parents we are used to making things as right for our children as we can and suddenly we can't make this right, not for anyone. To me that has been the hardest part. To watch my kid struggle to make the right decision about which car to buy is one thing, I know that is not a major life decision and sooner or later it would work out if they made a mistake. But this doesn't work out, it never ever goes away and to watch the struggles to overcome and accept, to move on. I have seen my child grow tremendously over the years but through all the smiles and happy moments only I as her mother can see the pain in the shadows that has never left since the birth of her baby. What a thing to have someone take away from you carelessly.